saturday

this morning i woke up and it had rained, finally. such a dry year. in the early summer baby rattlesnakes came out of the canyons, getting run over in the streets, sunning themselves on the sidewalks. the driest year in...

tuesday, instead of getting pain meds, i had another blood panel to check everything. eight vials. after the sixth one my cheeks feel somehow prickly. and i feel.. drained, actually. i go back in three weeks. if my doctor doesn't have some better options for me then, i think i will just look for another doctor. i am so sick of waiting for things to get better.

it's fall again already.. i keep thinking about how much i wanted to travel this year, or even just have a nice job and a nice deco apartment with a potted orange tree, and, just not be sick so often.

i have that horrible feeling hanging over me, like i'm running out of time.

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