sunday

proprioception, the sense or awareness of the position of one's body. this is one of the most fundamental aspects of riding. not only for the sake of balance, but because the horse feels and responds to the most minute shift of the rider's weight, whether the rider realizes or intends it.

since i became sick, this sense has gradually declined. mostly i think it is due to the avoidance of pain - eventually the mind begins to reflexively separate itself from suffering. after a fresh injury, you can choose to compartmentalize the pain. but when it is constant, but of ever fluctuating severity, the mind requires a broader separation, between experience and consciousness.

now, i need to focus on experiencing everything as fully as possible.