thursday

for a few days i feel alright, and then suddenly, the ache is in my bones, the low, throbbing fever making me feel like i am two or maybe three different people, besides myself, who so rarely shows up these days.

i was driving through wide green fields towards a black sky, with the thick feeling of dust and humidity right before rain, and in the distance i saw a group of large black birds circling and dropping over a spot in the field. in the eerie light of a thunderstorm, it was very beautiful. i did not want to think too much about what dead thing had called them.

i reached the carolina coast and walked along the water, that dark atlantic, and for awhile everything was different. i've lived by the sea, in the high desert, the empty plains, the dry mountains. i find it is best to live along the coast, with tall, sloping hills. here, the flatness of the land is hard to comprehend.

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