january 30th

to sum up 2008 before january is gone:
not the softest year.

some terrible things happened. i don't even want to think too much about them.
on top of everything else, my computer gave it up, 6 months after i broke my phone (dropping it for the 50th time). technology. expensive, expensive technology.

on the other hand, Obama beat Clinton, whose horribly dated mess of a campaign neatly summed up all my misgivings about the Democratic party, and was even elected. rarely is there anything so satisfying as watching the most competent person win.
locally a race very important to me went the other way, although by that point it was not terribly shocking.

the other good things were more complicated.
to control who you are is not always simple. one day you are only yourself, and then another you are scrunched up under everything that has happened. you couldn't remember how to get back.

maybe i will live 20 more years, maybe i'll die next month. it doesn't really matter at all, this is all there is - this, right now. we control this moment, not the others.

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